Laughter

I remember the first time my oldest daughter really saw me breathlessly laughing. I was talking with an old friend, who made some sarcastic, inside-joke, only she and I would know remark, and I "burst". As a mother, I have always laughed and even giggled with my kids, but I believe there has always been a sort of "control" about it. If I completely lose it, they will never calm down and go to sleep! My daughter, on seeing this giggling girl of a mother, realized the depth of me, that she will not fully unlock until she herself is a grown up. As I write, I am checking in with myself though, and asking, when was the last time I full out laughed - maybe last week? For a grown up, I guess that isn't too bad, but really?

Laughter is one of the greatest gifts known to humans. In almost every recorded culture in our world, when people come together there is laughter. What people find funny, however, could not be more diverse. Even within ones own culture or even family, you will find very different senses of humor. What is hysterical to one person, causes embarrassment or even pain to another. There is such power in something so simple. Laughter can cheer up, shut down, inspire, relieve, startle, transform, unite, alienate, invite in, exclude, calm down or rile up, and even help to heal. As in most areas of communication, the effect is linked to the intent - the heart of the initiator. It of course depends also on the heart of the receiver as well. in spite of occasionally misunderstandings, I am exceedingly grateful for this extraordinary, ordinary gift in my life.

A Growing Marriage

I was searching for my next topic to write about and came across the poem below that I wrote at a writer's workshop many years ago. Marriage is certainly one of those ordinary, extraordinary daily experiences. I have been married now for over 15 years, and still find myself in awe of matrimony. When I was walking down the isle, preparing to say "I do", I had no idea what I was agreeing to. I knew that I loved the man I was walking toward, as far as I understood love at that time. I knew I wanted to spend my life with this man, but had no idea what "good times and bad" awaited us. I just knew that we were called to become one, and so I said yes. To this day, I am still growing in understanding about the depth and significance of love. One of my favorite lines in Les Miserables is "To Love Another Person Is to See the Face of God". I am certain of this. What has also been revealed are my own inadequacies in the face of love. I have found that I am more selfish and prideful than I ever could have imagined. I have found strength not in myself, but in acknowledging my weaknesses. Vulnerability is an essential element for a strong marriage. It seems almost counter-intuitive. How can I be strong when I am weak? I am convinced that when we finally come to the end of ourselves, we will be able to do amazing things. In the sacred union of marriage, synergy is at work. We are stronger and better when we are working together. Individually, we are fallible humans, with both strength and weaknesses. Together, we form a Divine union that is unbreakable, if and only if, God is the center, the glue that holds us bound.

Weddings are an every day occurrence, but at the same time an extraordinary undertaking. It seems these days though, just like flying in an airplane, the extraordinary is lost, and the ordinary is taken for granted. My husband and I attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago, and as I was looking around the church, listening to the priest speak, and watching the look on people's faces, I realized how much a healthy society depends on the willingness for people to commit before God and others, to love, honor, and serve until death do us part. Marriage is romanticized, and there is much romance to be found thankfully, but it is also a lot of blood, sweat and tears too. I admire all who have entered it and remained united through health and sickness, no matter what has come their way. I also admire those who have made mistakes along the way, grew from those experiences, and through God's grace, have entered into union once again.


A Growing Marriage

Light glitters off the grooves that circle around the band. Scratches disrupt the pattern in one place. The round, gold surface is simple, yet elegant. It is continual, on-going, whole, and solid.

The light dances in my husband’s eyes when I look at him. Our life together centered around simple daily tasks. We encounter the extraordinary in the ordinary. The pattern of our lives is not always smooth. He is strong, solid, intricate, yet simple.

The ring is a very appropriate symbol of matrimony. Light shines in our love. The pattern is simple, yet elegant-we have encountered bumps and bruises along the way, but we go on together in life’s daily circle dance. We even get brighter the more we take time to polish!

Transformation

In my younger years, meaning all the years before having children, I would seek intrigue and adventure on my world travels - new experiences, something fresh and different. Each new culture brought new adventure, excitement and new learning. Now I am rooted, raising a family. Far off lands are but a distant memory. Where shall I direct my quest? Each child presents a new adventure and often a new challenge every day. They are each universes in themselves. I explore their dreams, ideas, and observations. Amazingly, I always encounter something fresh and different. If I slow down long enough to really listen, my perspective is usually altered, ever so slightly. I also see new adventures in the changing seasons. New life arrives each year, the experience is fresh each time. The first frozen crystals falling from the sky in Winter; the first buds of Spring; the full blossoms of summer; the magnificent color of Fall’s leaves. Each one fills me with anticipation. I look back to the living beings in my own home. Each one becoming, transforming, growing into the people God made them to be. Each one’s heart and mind holds treasures to be sought and unlocked. Each one holds surprises yet discovered. Each day is a new exploration. I do not need to board a plane to experience things anew. I must just open my heart and eyes to the adventures surrounding me right here at home. As a bonus, we do sometimes get to board the plane together and explore new lands.

Making History

I used to watch the news and wonder at all the history that was unfolding in those far off places. I loved reading and learning about the “great events” in history. It is clearer and clearer to me now, that history really isn’t something happening “out there”, or in those grand, important events, but everyday we are making history. It might not make the headlines or be on the evening news but if we are alive, engaged in life, we are creating a story – one that is significant, even if only to a few. Life is not a spectator sport. We cannot sit on the sidelines or in front of the television watching it unfold (or even in front of the computer). We must engage. We may not always be the author, as our stories intermix; we all have some part in history – if we are truly alive, whether at home, work, neighborhood, community, country, world.