A Growing Marriage

I was searching for my next topic to write about and came across the poem below that I wrote at a writer's workshop many years ago. Marriage is certainly one of those ordinary, extraordinary daily experiences. I have been married now for over 15 years, and still find myself in awe of matrimony. When I was walking down the isle, preparing to say "I do", I had no idea what I was agreeing to. I knew that I loved the man I was walking toward, as far as I understood love at that time. I knew I wanted to spend my life with this man, but had no idea what "good times and bad" awaited us. I just knew that we were called to become one, and so I said yes. To this day, I am still growing in understanding about the depth and significance of love. One of my favorite lines in Les Miserables is "To Love Another Person Is to See the Face of God". I am certain of this. What has also been revealed are my own inadequacies in the face of love. I have found that I am more selfish and prideful than I ever could have imagined. I have found strength not in myself, but in acknowledging my weaknesses. Vulnerability is an essential element for a strong marriage. It seems almost counter-intuitive. How can I be strong when I am weak? I am convinced that when we finally come to the end of ourselves, we will be able to do amazing things. In the sacred union of marriage, synergy is at work. We are stronger and better when we are working together. Individually, we are fallible humans, with both strength and weaknesses. Together, we form a Divine union that is unbreakable, if and only if, God is the center, the glue that holds us bound.

Weddings are an every day occurrence, but at the same time an extraordinary undertaking. It seems these days though, just like flying in an airplane, the extraordinary is lost, and the ordinary is taken for granted. My husband and I attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago, and as I was looking around the church, listening to the priest speak, and watching the look on people's faces, I realized how much a healthy society depends on the willingness for people to commit before God and others, to love, honor, and serve until death do us part. Marriage is romanticized, and there is much romance to be found thankfully, but it is also a lot of blood, sweat and tears too. I admire all who have entered it and remained united through health and sickness, no matter what has come their way. I also admire those who have made mistakes along the way, grew from those experiences, and through God's grace, have entered into union once again.


A Growing Marriage

Light glitters off the grooves that circle around the band. Scratches disrupt the pattern in one place. The round, gold surface is simple, yet elegant. It is continual, on-going, whole, and solid.

The light dances in my husband’s eyes when I look at him. Our life together centered around simple daily tasks. We encounter the extraordinary in the ordinary. The pattern of our lives is not always smooth. He is strong, solid, intricate, yet simple.

The ring is a very appropriate symbol of matrimony. Light shines in our love. The pattern is simple, yet elegant-we have encountered bumps and bruises along the way, but we go on together in life’s daily circle dance. We even get brighter the more we take time to polish!